Whisper #3 - It Once Was Lost, But Now It's Found

This is my 3rd post on Jesus whispers that I experienced this week.  What is a Jesus whisper?  It's something I made up...at least I made up the name.  See my my previous 2 posts for the history.  In short, they are stories of very specific events I experienced this week where I knew without any doubt that Jesus was intimately involved in giving me a helping hand.  How do I know it was Jesus and not just "good fortune?"  Well, I guess you can ask the same question of someone married to an identical twin.  "How do you know which one is your spouse?"  Uhhh...while they may look the same to others, I guarantee you their spouse can tell the difference...because they Know them.  Really know them.  While my "knowing Jesus" is always growing, I know Him enough to tell the difference.  So, I am giving Him the credit for these specific circumstances where I knew "something more" was going on here.

My last 2 posts were regarding some pretty big events and decisions I had to make this week.  This one however is pretty small...but I Love it when I see Jesus loving me in the smallest of ways.  Ways that others would never see or recognize or even think is a big deal.  Now, there are a million little good things that happen to me all around...and I honestly don't "thank Jesus" for each of them when they happen.  I just take it, enjoy it, and move on.  But there are some special times...times that may look the same to others...but where I can tell that this is different.  It's like Jesus went out of His way to give me something...or at least that's how it feels.  That's the case here.

Okay, let me set the scene.  Next to my side of the bed is this really small round table (it's actually a plant stool) big enough for an alarm clock and a bottle of lotion.  Near that table is a small trash can and a laundry basket with dirty laundry.  One day, I am looking for a certain piece of clothing...like a swim suit or something...and I was digging around in the dirty laundry to see if it was in there.  So I had kind of emptied the laundry out onto the floor while looking...then scooped it all up and put it back in.  That night as I'm heading to bed, I notice that there is 1 earring sitting on my small round table.  Where did this come from?  I don't remember this being here.  So I ask David...do you know where this came from?  He said he found my earrings on the floor so he picked them up and put them on my table.  Hmmm...okay.  But where is the other one?  Did it fall off again?  Where did it go?  I quickly look in the trash can, which is full and right next to the table.  I try not to move too many things around in it, in case the earring is precariously sitting on top of something.  I don't see it.  I remember the laundry.  I hope it's not in there!

Ah!  Irritating.  I love these earrings.  They are what I call my England Earrings.  David bought them for me in England...not the one overseas, but the one in Epcot!  They are still from England though so it counts!  Okay, so now I get to look through my entire trash can before I empty it...sounds like fun...but the fun will wait until tomorrow.

Tomorrow comes and I need to do laundry.  I start to pull out dirty clothes, and I see that full trash can.  Irritated.  Where is that thing?  I am careful to pick up the laundry one piece at a time in case the earring got "scooped up" into the basket.  If the earring is in the clothes, hopefully it will fall out if I'm careful.  Nothing.  No earring.  Okay...I move on.  I'll get around to sifting through that trash can at some point.  Laundry goes into the washer and my day goes on.

Later that day, I remember that I have a load in the washer and I start putting them into the dryer.  About half way through unloading it, I wonder to myself if the earring actually was in the clothes and got washed.  Okay...it happens all the time where the kids have coins the their pockets and I get some free money at the bottom of my washer (I actually have a bank above my washer to keep lost coins...and it's very Full).  Usually as I get closer to the bottom of unloading the load, I hear clanging noises from the coins being scooted as the laundry shifts (since I have a front-load washer).  So now I am hoping to hear some metalic noise as I get to the end of the wet clothes.  Then, at that Exact Moment...I hear the whisper.  Look in the lip of the washer.  (My front-load washer has this little lip near the rubber seal where a sock will occasionally get lodged).  Huh?  The lip?  You practically have to stick your whole head in the washer to see into the lip.  I haven't even finished unloading the wet clothes...but out of curiosity, while on my knees, I stick my Head in the washer, half-full with wet clothes...and There It is!!!  I can't believe it!  I pick it up...and just sit there with this huge smile on my face.  Immediately I think (and I may have even mouthed it), "Jesus, you are so nice to me!  You are just so nice!"

I run into the bedroom where David is and show him.  He was happy I found it but I don't think he really understood what had just happened.  I felt like Jesus had just scooped down and given me a little side-hug and said "Here you go."  I just loved Him so much for that.  What a nice thing for Him to do for me!

Now, when I wear them I will not only remember my sweet husband and when he bought them for me...but I will also remember this story...knowing that whatever joy I received from it, He had more than that when doing it.  And I love Him for that!

Whisper #2 - To Buy or Not to Buy? That is the Question.

Okay, here we go.  Whisper #2.  This is a continuation of my series of 3 Jesus Whisper posts.  See previous post for the back story.

Some of you know this, but many may not.  David and I started buying rental properties this year.  We have a goal to build up a portfolio of good properties, fix them up nice, and rent them into the foreseeable future.  Housing prices are depressed, so it's a good time to buy and hold.  The goal is to accelerate our loan payments with the rent received so by the time we are 50, we have rent-able assets with no mortgage.  Stable source of independent income. 

My name is Julie....and I'm a Planner.  Coming up with "a plan" is something I love to do...and seeing the plan being realized is So Fun!  Especially a Financial Plan!!  Between Julie the Accountant and David the Finance major (did you know David was a Finance major?)...we love to solve money issues.  Sit down at the kitchen table, run the numbers, look at the spread of options, decide what our real goal is, weigh the risks, and figure out how to mitigate those risks and make it work.  We even High-Five each other when we reach the solution!  Hey...doesn't everyone High-Five and Hug during financial planning?  Well...that's how we roll.

Side note:  We have gotten several comments about "How can you afford that?"  "Where are you getting the money to do that?"  No worries.  David and I are not reckless and we make smart choices.  A lot of houses are selling below market value right now, for one reason or another...a lot below.  Find one with great potential.  Snatch it up, fix it up...and now it's worth market, but your investment is a lot lower than that.  Get a loan based on market value.  Rinse and Repeat.  It's not complicated, but it is a numbers game.  The numbers have to work or it's not a good deal.

Okay...so back to this week.  I get a call from my agent, "There's a house I think you should see."  I check out this house and immediately there are things I like about it, but it is also in pretty bad shape.  I start to get quiet...I'm thinking.  Walking around the house...and thinking.  How much will the rehab cost?  What could I rent it for?  Do I like that area?  What would I be willing to pay for it?  There's a bunch of unknowns in a house like that.  Got to factor those in.  I head home...think some more.  Calculator comes out.  I decide to low-ball it and see if they even respond.  Maybe we can get a dialog going.  Let's see what they do.  House is already listed below market, but not enough below I don't think.  At least not enough for my model to work.  Tuesday afternoon, I submit an offer...a really low one...20% less than asking price.

Wednesday mid morning, I get a counter.  A dud counter.  They came down $1,000.  Okay, what this means to me is that they think it's worth what they're offering (and it probably is - to someone else), and they don't plan to budge, but they are still willing to discuss it with me.  My agent thinks it's worth the price...and I agree, but just because the house it "worth" a price doesn't mean it will fit "my plan."  The plan that we High-Fived over at the kitchen table.  Got to stick with the plan.  Do the numbers work?

All day Wednesday, I am thinking.  Processing.  Calculating.  What's the high & low rehab figure?  What will it appraise for after rehab?  What's the high & low rent range?  I decide to drive through the neighborhood again.  I like it.  I like the house.  Time for a serious offer, but what should it be?  I'm sitting on the couch with my Iphone calculator and mortgage calculator...being still...thinking...and waiting for the whisper.  Waiting for the nudge to help me decide.  What is the most I'm willing to pay?  Honestly, I'm not sure.  I'm kind of black & white.  In this instance, I'd like to have a number where I could confidently rest and say "This is the highest I can go within my plan.  If I can't get it at that number, then that's fine."  For some reason, I couldn't rest on a figure.  Too many unknowns I guess.

In the stillness of my space, late Wednesday afternoon.  I start to hear the whisper.  The Jesus whisper.  An internal suggestion of sorts.  He suggested a number.  It was a number I was sure they would reject and was lower than the number I was thinking about countering.  But it was a number significantly higher than my first offer.  Hmmm.  That number would definitely give me more room for a "fudge factor," it's definitely higher than my original offer which communicates that I'm serious.  Okay, I follow The Whisper and text my agent the counter offer late Wednesday.  In the meantime, I am trying to still decide where my high figure will be. If they come down at all, how high am I willing to go?

I think about it a few times on Thursday, but really give myself a break and just wait to see what they counter.  Thursday is busy and I'm working at the office.  No text from my agent.  I run some errands and get a text at 4:00.  I get excited for a second when I see that it's my agent...but all she says is that she hasn't heard anything.  The house is bank-owned, so the response may not be quick...but it was quick the first time.  That's strange.  (This is the dialog in my head).  I'm eating dinner with David (kids are with grandma) and telling him about the house...what it looks like, what I like about it, the status of things, etc.  During dinner, I get a call from my agent.  She is excited.  They accepted your offer!!!  They accepted your offer!!!  *Gasp*   I immediately thought about Jesus and imagined Him whispering into the ears of those bankers over there...This is a good offer.  You must accept this offer.  Kind of like Obi Wan...These are not the droids you are looking for *insert hand wave here*.  Ha!  Did I mention we are a Star Wars loving family?

Thank you Jesus for your sweet whispers to me that guide me and show me where to go in the darkness.  I love you and need you as my greatest Companion, Father & Friend.

Stay tuned for 1 more Jesus whisper this week....can it get better?  Yes it can!

Whisper #1 - Service with a Smile

This has been an interesting week.  A bit has changed in my life since Monday...and I love it when that happens because it makes life interesting.  I also always learn something with each rock of life that I uncover.  There were 3 distinct times this week where I needed some guidance...I needed to make a decision or needed help with something.  When I come to that place where, now I have to make a decision...what should I do here?...That's when I get still.  I think.  I need a quiet place, or at least a quiet place inside my head.  After processing the options I have, I almost always ask David his thoughts, after explaining what I've considered.  He listens, hears the pros/cons I've come up with and usually adds thoughts and considerations that come to mind to help me.  Then...I sloooow down, think through, imagine myself in each option...and I wait.  I wait for the whisper.  Do you know what I mean by whisper?  For me, it is quite distinct.  It feels different than an idea, it sounds different than my voice to myself.  I talk to myself a lot in my head, and I know what I sound like to myself...if that makes any sense.  The whisper is God's voice.  Not a voice that you hear, and not just a feeling, but it's almost like...while I am thinking and processing, a thought Pops into my head out of the blue and not in the normal course of my own thinking.  It feels like I'm searching a dark room for something and all of a sudden a small light blinks to the side...just to get my attention.  That's what it feels like to me when I'm trying to decide something and I get an urge about it that is unrelated to the logic I am walking myself through.  Now usually they complement each other, but usually the logic stops at some point and you have to decide something base on what you have.  God's whisper is very distinct to me...so distinct that I immediately give Him credit for the outcome in those circumstances because I don't feel like I got there on my own wisdom, but like I was led.  Of course wisdom is given by God and I make a zillion decisions based on that wisdom every day...but some are different where I feel led to the decision by Someone Else.

All that was a lead-in to 3 whisper moments Jesus gave me this week...and I love Him for that.  Well, I'd love Him anyway but it just makes our relationship so much closer when He does that for me.  Lately, I have been re-examining where I serve.  Church, school. community.  Way back when the kids were tiny, I started serving everywhere.  I needed the outlet, being a full time stay at home mom (SAHM).  It grew from serving on a committee at church for a women's event to the following:  Attending a bible study, teaching a children's bible study, teaching in VBS, running a whole section of VBS, co-chairing the women's event, chairing the women's event, leading a small group at church, class mom for my pre-schooler, and serving in the school library.  After 3-4 years of that, I was wiped and I took a huge break from it all.  I back out of everything.  I decided to serve in 1 place.  That's it.  I will teach Sunday School with David...because I love to teach.  Don't ask me to do anything else.  I turned down lots of requests to teach other places, serve on committees.  I even stopped attending my Bible study because I wasn't in the right place to receive it.  It was just another thing on my list that I started to resent.  Sloooooowww dooooown......

Okay, so now I've been slow for a few years and it felt great.  So this is the weird thing.  Just a few weeks ago I started feeling like I should re-examine where I serve.  I kind of felt like there was more for me to do right now, but I wasn't about to jump on something.  I just had this sense like I should so something extra.  Like what?  I kind of just sat in that space for a few weeks.  No rush.  Just being still about it.

Then I get a call.  It's a call I have gotten before...in fact I got one last spring.  I saw the Caller ID and I knew exactly who it was.  The only reason this person calls is to ask me to consider serving somewhere.  For just a second, I considered letting it roll to voicemail because I just had heard from her last spring and I had to say no.  I made an honest consideration at the time but felt very strongly that it was a No right then.  But I felt the "urge" and I took the call...very willing to hear what she needed me to consider but fully expecting to have no change in my answer.  At the beginning of the call, I felt pretty sure that it was still a No.  But by the middle of the call something changed.  Not because of anything she said because it's the same request I've had before...but it was a soft whisper, an urging.  After the call, I immediately told David how weird I felt.  Very different from the other times she has called with the exact same request and I knew it was a no.  I started imagining myself in the No position, and anxiety stated forming.  I imagined myself in the Yes positon and sweet recollections of years past came to my mind...things God taught me through this service, ways I changed during those years, the leaps that I grew, and the lives I touched in that place.  "I think I'm supposed to do this" I told David.  And his demeanor was different too.  Previously he would tell me outright, I don't think you should do that.  This time was different. 

The next day I called her back and said Yes...and I even told her my journey to get there.  She gave the glory where it was due as did I.  So I am officially teaching Bible Study to children for the next school year at BSF.  Bible Study Fellowship.  It's a fantastic organization not affiliated with any church, with classes all over the nation and the world.  There are 3 women's classes in the Tulsa area and they have changed my life.  Teaching children is one of my favorite things to do and being a Children's Leader in BSF is a huge commitment but I'm going to let go and see what God does with it.

Stay tuned for 2 more Jesus whispers I experienced this week....

Manna from Heaven

I actually forget that cantaloupe is one of my favorite fruits, or maybe my Very favorite, until it is in season and you find them everywhere.  Then I remember.  Cantaloupe!  Must. Have. Some.  David and I went to Whole Foods one evening, which was a treat because we are never on that side of town, and we went there to get one thing, Brazil nuts.  Let's face it, how many times do you go to the grocery store to get just one thing and actually walk out with only one thing?  OK, that was the case here.  We walk through the produce...my favorite part of Whole Foods by the way...and I gaze at all the beautiful and fresh fruit.  And there is was.  Caught me off guard.  I gasped...maybe squealed a little bit.  Locally Grown & Organic, Oklahoma Cantaloupe!!  I didn't know they grew those here!  I am totally having one!  The first one I picked up smelled so good (on the spot where the vine attached) and it was heavy for its size.  Hey...I've been listening to those Food Network shows.  The next morning, I cut that baby open.  It was so juicy on my cutting board.  My hands were sticky and wet when I was finished.  I put it in a bowl and savored each juicy bite.  It was like having a small glass of water with each piece.  So delicious!  I took a picture on my Iphone of by bowl o'Loupe and texted it to David.  I was then quickly reprimanded for "premature cantaloupe consumption!"  I really could have eaten that whole thing while sitting in front of some TV show...but then where would my marriage be?  Hmmmm, guess I'll save some for hubby too!  That night as David and I finished it off...that cold, juicy, sweet, ripe,organic piece of heaven...it got me thinking.  Cantaloupe is a super-food, according to Dr. Oz at least, meaning it is Jam Packed with healthy stuff, super-concentrated in one fruit.  And where did this food come from?  It's not anything that man made.  It came from a seed.  A seed.  A seed that sprouted in its own mysterious way and grew into a flowering vine that bloomed these huge balls.  Balls of deliciousness, with the fruit safely protected inside.  Not just any fruit...but fruit that strengthens and protects the human body, protects it from cancer cells, nourishes it with vitamins, strengthens it with energy!  As I'm eating this fruit, I'm imagining God populating the earth with these balls o'deliciousness...because He loves us.  What a weird fruit, grown in a weird way, given like Manna from Heaven.  We didn't design it, we can't create it.  He came up with it, and he sprouts it out of the ground right on time, every year, just for us.  And it just "so happens" to have so much of what the body needs to be at optimum health.  Thank you Jesus for showing me your love and care for me through a cantaloupe!

I am FULL!

"I am full"...or alternatively "I'm not very full" or "I'm empty" are the words David and I use to describe how much attention our love language needs.  What is a love language?  It's only one of the most important things you need to know about your spouse in order to maintain a healthy and fantastic marriage...in my opinion.  In short, it is the one thing someone could do for you that would communicate Love to you in the highest way.  There are 5 love languages and everyone has at least one.  Mine is Quality Time. Those closest to me know that I neeeeeeed quality time with you in order to feel connected and engaged...loved.  The circle of people from whom I need this is actually quite small.  And I don't need it all the time or anything...unless you're David and then yes...and I don't need it from everyone (thank goodness!) but for my verrrrry closest friendships, Quality Time with me at some level along the continuum of our relationship is what communicates "I love you" "I value you" "You're important to me." 

Now, quality-time-people tend to come across as high-maintenance friends.  Why?  Because you have to spend tiiiiime with them...and not just Any time but Quality time!  Quality time to me is talking about how you are doing, how you feel about things going on in your life, things you're struggling with, things you are learning about yourself, and vice-versa...all that DEEP stuff.  Heavy right?  Yes, it is heavy but so rewarding.  Because it is so heavy, a little goes a long way.  I only need that level of dialog every few weeks to keep my love language topped off at full, or every few months for a good maintenance.  With David, it's less than that.  When he hears me say "So, how are things going at work?" that is my entrance into some Quality discussion time with my very best friend of all time!  Thankfully, my closest friends also have a high quality time need, David included.  That's his #2 love language.  So we all kind of fill each other up!

Okay, so that brings me to this week.  Today is Friday.  I can not remember a richer week for me in the Love department than this week.  And none of it was some over-the-top expression like you hear about...a husband surprising his wife with a huge gift or a trip somewhere.  No, nothing like that.  Time...just time.  That's what it was.  It started Tuesday morning when I took the kids to a friend's house (one of my friends in that small circle) to swim in the neighborhood pool.  After a couple hours of that, we ended up spending the whole entire afternoon hanging out on her couch while the kids played upstairs.  We talked about all kinds of stuff...I can't even remember what...but I remember how it made me feel! 

Wednesday evening I went to a different friend's house to spend some good girl time and ended up staying until almost midnight.  I love learning new things about my friends...things about their character, hang ups they have, their perspective on situations...and that's what this was.  I left feeling like I knew her sooo much better, and that I couldn't wait to do it again. 

Thursday was a day I have been waiting on for months.  My best friend since childhood (and by childhood, I mean 3rd grade!) came in town.  She lives on the east coast so I get to see her about once a year when she comes home to visit family.  This time she came without kids or husband...that has never happened!  So I carved out an entire day of my week to spend it just with her.  We met for breakfast at 8:30 and went from there.  We hung out until 6:00 when she finally forced herself to leave because she had standing dinner plans with family.  We talked about everything from marriage to TV shows.  She told me all kinds of things about her life and friendships she has back east.  I told her about my closest friends here and new things in my life.  We reminisced about days long ago.  Things we wished we'd done differently.  Things we got right!  Ahhh.  So refreshing.  What a treat.

In the middle of this on Thursday, my mother-in-law who is keeping my boys calls and asks if they can spend the night.  Why, yes they can!  So after my east-coast friend leaves, I text my husband the good news.  No kids tonight!  So we head to dinner at an old Mexican restaurant where we used to eat when we were dating.  We talked about finances and plans and checked our Iphones for movie times.  We ran a couple errands together and saw a feel-good movie.  Can things get better than this?

Yes they can.  Turns out my swimming-pool friend is having my boys spend the night at her place tonight (Friday) so that means #2 night with no kids.  OMGoodness!  So much Quality Time squished into one week and spread across so many friends, I think I might just explode with how loved I feel.  When I said I can't remember a richer week in the Love department, that is an understatement!  My virtual arms are extending virtual hugs to you all right now.  I feel the love, and I love you too!

I am so FULL!

I guess I'm a blogger now!

Well, here it is.  My first blog post EVER!  I never thought I would do this.  In fact, just the idea of blogging used to make me tired.  I think that is because of the type of person I am.  I don't want to sound dumb or boring (hello!  I'm an accountant!) and creativity has always seemed to be out of my reach a bit.  I like things to be stable and the same, generally speaking, aaaaand I have a lazy streak.  Why think when you can veg?  Okay.  So why am I blogging?  I've found that I love reading other people's blogs.  Not random blogs of people I don't know, because honestly that seems like a waste of my time...sorry to those of you who do that.  :)  I read the blogs of all my close friends & family who have them.  I have customized my Google page (iGoogle) to show all the blogs I follow, plus news, etc and reading the blogs is the first thing I want to do when I sit down at my Google home page!  The more I read them, the less dauting the task seems to feel.  Additionally, I have found that one of the things I love to do most is observe & analyze.  Not just boring stuff like numbers (boring to others, interesting to me!), but relationships, circumstances, conversations, Scripture, my children, others' perspectives, etc.  Now, it has gotten me into trouble before...more on that in some later post...I but I feel like I have learned so many things in my adult years.  Some big, but most are little but valuable.  When I start to draw conclusions about something or I see things in a new way, I can't wait to "reveal" it to David.  What I've learned.  What I feel God has shown me about something.  Anyway, I recently have been drawn to writing it down.  Not because I feel like I've mastered anything...but in reading other blogs I've realized how much it blesses me and helps me relate to someone I may not see very often.  I like to relate to people on a DEEP level.  Hence the title of my blog...with a bit of SNL reference!  But really, how much time can you really invest in people at that level.  So, for the trickle of friends/family who may stumble upon this blog, this is my one-way endeavor to show you a fuller Me.  Not just the Me that you see at Church, or in a class, or even at a family gathering...the Deeper Me.